Translating Idiot Speak

At the risk of boring you blind, we will illustrate points  #2, #4 and #5 of Group Think 101.

This illustration comes from chuck muth’s most recent e-mail ‘alert’. The original ‘alert’ text is quoted below. The translated  portion, or what Idiot Muth meant to say, appears in italic red letters.

“I finally got around to reading Sen. Raggio’s biography, A Man of His Word, on the flight home to Las Vegas from last week’s ALEC meeting in New Orleans.”

By finally, I mean to say I am so cheap I didn’t read Senator’s Raggio’s book until I could borrow a free copy from someone. 

Now, before I get started, let me say this: Personally, I like Bill Raggio.  A lot.  I’ve known him since 1996.  I respect him.  I admire him.  But on this tax-and-spend issue..he’s just plain wrong.  Nothing personal; just business.

“Just business” means I don’t give two craps about anything in Nevada politics other than myself and trying to create boogie men inside the  Nevada Republican Party. I do this so that I can create a wedge with one or two deep pocketed conservative donors who I hope will write checks to one of my “non-profits” instead of supporting the GOP directly.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

I don’t really know why I wrote that, I just can’t write anything without using at least one lame cliché.

We Need More Pledge Signers!

Grover Norquist told me that unless more elected officials are beholden to me they will sell my pledge franchise to someone else.

So I hope you’ll contribute $100, $50, $25 or whatever you can to help us flood the state with Nevada’s Least Wanted signs and help elect better, more conservative candidates in GOP primaries next year. 

If I don’t make a good faith effort to attack Republicans, then conservatives might wake up and  realize I am actually the guy who wants to legalize pot,  legalize gay marriage and introduce a service tax on Doctors, CPA’s and plumbers. Hell, I’ve been told we could even add a Gross Receipts Tax on ALL businesses in Nevada, as long as the magic tax fairy is able to “offset” them somewhere else.

Oh well, if I can scam just enough of the conservatives in Nevada to make a living off of GOP primary elections then I will keep doing it.

Disclosure: I don’t care if the GOP wins or loses, I just need a check. After all, your donations allow me to take two week vacations… PT Barnum was right!